Teresa Taylor Story

I was so pleased that you gave Johns company a glowing reference.

I have had such a hard time finding a good carer and I am almost at my wits endI was so pleased that you gave Johns company a glowing reference.
I have had such a hard time finding a good carer and I am almost at my wits end.

We have referred to Carmel in other places around our website. This is now her 3rd role. Earlier roles ended due to the service users (both age 0ver 90) deceased.

Hi John,
Please find conversations with xxxxxxx below.
Please feel free to use any of my comments for Carmel’s file (but you are still not having her back…lol !) or for any other inquiries. Also feel free to give my email address to prospective employers.
I am happy to support your excellent work in any way I can.
PS any inquiries from the Solihull area? Social worker was so impressed with mom’s improvement.
Best wishes
Teresa
Hi xxxx
I am very happy to answer your questions.
From the initial inquiry John was extremely helpful.
My mother has severe dementia and at a loss we did place her in a residential home. After a few visits the family decided this was not for us. Mom had deteriorated and appeared more confused.
John explained about the people available and I did request an older lady if possible. (My mom is 91 she will be 92 in December and we were not sure someone in there 20’s would have been able to cope with her or her with them.
She was never an outgoing person and dislikes strangers). At first this did not seem possible but John kept an eye on which people would be available in the immediate future, and kept me in the loop at all times.
He assured me that if for any reason the person who came was not suitable, didn’t settle with us or with my mom someone else would be approached to come and live with my mom and that this change would not involve another fee.
This was important to us as we are all over 60 ourselves with limited incomes. I did interview our carer before she strarted just to ensure she was aware of mom’s problems.
We feel we were very fortunate to get the carer we have, she is wonderful.
Yes, there were initial teething problems due to mom’s dementia and confusion. She can be very difficult which why the family decided we needed help before we were burnt out.
The problems were about mom not the carer. We were very clear about what care we required and most importantly very honest about my mothers difficulties and the effects the dementia was having on her.
eg, some nights she was up every 2 hours, poor hygiene, incontinence etc.
However, our carer, with family support persevered and know the change is wonderful. Previously care was shared by 4 family members. This was not good for mom as she struggles to remember who people are,
who was sleeping in her house and, on bad weather days did not wish to leave home. Unfortunately, as we all have family commitments she had to.
Mom now sleeps through the majority of nights, is mostly continent and looks 100% better.
She is allowed to stay in bed as long as wishes, as there are no longer any time restraints, so she is in a much better mood having been allowed to wake naturally, has freshly cooked meals every day and is taken out daily
for a walk or just a look around the shops. So, she is more physically active than she has been for years and is settled as she is at home all of the time with one dedicated carer. The carer involves her in as many activities as she can manage,
gardening, hanging out the washing etc.
All I can suggest is that you are honest about any problems and clear what it is you are wanting from the carer. Always talk about the bad days as well as the good ones and recognise the carer needs time off and support.
It is not easy caring for someone with dementia. As you know.
I highly recommend you use John to find you a carer.
Just another suggestion do approach social services, not for a carer but for funding.
Having spent years struggling with finances we were shock to find the amount of financial support available. They wont tell you. you have to ask.
Sorry if it is a longer reply than you expected just want you to have as much information as possible.
Please feel free to contact me at any time with any questions or worries you have.
Regards
Teresa
Dearxxxxx
You are so right about institutional care. The change in 2 months in my mom was scary.
All these homes say the right thing but they do not happen.
As I said, be clear about what you expect. Daily walk was one of ours, mom’s is now in a wheelchair for shopping, but at least she gets fresh air and can keep in touch with the shops and changes locally, another was freshly cooked food. No problem with standbys but must must be fresh.
Where do you live? very happy to help you draw up a list of expectations. Remember if you and your wife don’t list any the carer has nothing to work to and, if they are lazy or inexperienced they will not know what to do.
I really hope your carer works out. When it works its brilliant!
Best wishes
Teresa
Subject: Re: reference
Dear Teresa,
Thank you for your well informed email reply.
I found the information you supplied me with was very helpful.
I was so pleased that you gave Johns company a glowing reference.
I have had such a hard time finding a good carer and I am almost at my wits end.
At least two carers I am employed to be companion to my wife felt it was their duty just to sit and observe my wife but did not interact with her.
She became very frustrated with their attitude and felt angry and hurt.
I know the importance of matching the correct carer to the recipient but it just was not happening.
I think familiar face that has a spark of kindness and humility will mend the hurt she has suffered.
my present thought of John is he seems very empathic towards my needs to find the correct live in carer and he has found someone who I pray will work out well for Liz.
As you say there seems a more stronger emphasis towards the extended family and the compassion given.
My dear wife xxx is only 62 years and has early onset dementia.
I never knew what people went though until the last few months. It is life changing to say the least and as a healthcare professional now only working 19 hours a week I realise work is now my only respite .
I only want the best for Liz and want to keep her in her own familiar surrounding not in institutionised care that will I feel be the beginning of the end, stripped of dignity and respect.
Take care

Both Teresa and the gentleman (from Chatham) to whom she communictated with are both happy to speak to any of our new enquiriers.